~lily-day

Ok, people, I could really do with some feedback right now.

I haven't updated much recently (other than my photo work) because I don't feel that DevArt is what I was hoping for. I guess it's a little presumptuous to think that i'd be earning Daily Deviations all over the place, but I hoped that an artistic community would bolster my poor ego with some accolades. My need for approval is something that drives me as much as it pisses me off.

The galleries are filled with cliched and popular shit, unmitigated shit, and the occasional gem of real artistic merit. With all the nifty streamlining, categorizing and moderating this place feels less and less like an artistic community and more and more like... LiveJournal.

Speaking of journals, I re-read all of mine. Christ, the only thing keeping me from being yet another whiney Goth was the fact that I never had the self-confidence to wear bondage pants in public. I mean, I am clinically depressed, but I thought I was at least at bit more original and eloquent. Something above "OMG i luvs naruto and sasuke yaoi slash fanfiction but my parents keep telling me to get off the computer!!!1! they SUCK!!!1!!!!1!"

I'm preparing to move to Columbus, Ohio, for college, and I'm debating whether I should keep this Dev page running and recent or just let it fester.

I'm getting rid of what I used to be but I'm not forgetting.



I read it's lame to wish
That you won't walk out on me
But I'm not embarassed to sing
Plainly the words love and your name
I can pay all my own bills (debts)
I can unroll (rip off) my own tights
I can untuck all I have to untuck
(I can humiliate myself to your face)
I can weep through my own midnights